People are ready to do anything but diet and exercise to lose weight but those are the only two things that work.
Those words come out of my dads mouth every time we have a discussion(and by discussion, I mean, my father rants away about a topic that annoys him while I sit and take it in for the most part) about whatever new fad or craze is sweeping the globe with miraculous reports of weight loss approved by several men in white coats as the optimal thing that everyone should be doing, that is, until the next big thing. And it’s true for the most part.
I used to be a certified fat fuck having made my way into the dreaded status of “OBESE” because apparently, sitting on my ass was not enough exercise to burn the calories from the third snickers bar I had stuffed myself with in the past 2 hours wondering how the fuck I managed to make my grades and weight match, both hitting low 90s.
->From there to there->
Eventually though, I managed to get up and go move around(in a very slow but moderately determined manner, stopping occasionally to catch my breath),starting with jogging and eventually joining the gym and karate classes. They helped, and surprisingly, I realized that I actually did enjoy this particular form of sweaty torture and the very slight changes it brought about as a whole.
But soon, as I came into college, My real weight loss story began and it’s a very simple technique really.
DO MORE DRUGS!!!
It may possibly fuck up your entire life as it has with many others but it really does work in a few cases that I witnessed(by which I mean a few from my expansive circle of stoners and druggies) including mine.
It was more of the shift from occasional use to regular “self medication” (it works wonders with acute boredom, which made its appearance in college) that really brought about a sudden change.
With this new found lifestyle, regular, filling meals were a thing of the past. No longer would I have to worry about overeating because my appetite was absolutely destroyed.
Can’t eat? Smoke some more pot, you’ll get hungry
Ate too much? It’s okay, you will probably be throwing it up later.
Just so happens, drugs were my portion control. And this paired with a self destructive attitude to working out was my ideal weight loss routine.
But seriously, Don’t actually do drugs to lose weight because it can just as easily go the opposite route or just create another problem altogether.(There are some other perfectly good reasons to do drugs though)
But you don’t need to follow the fad and torture yourself with some shitty diet full of inedible crap or start on some unrealistic way-too-easy-to-be-true weight loss program because some good-looking fuckwad in brilliant shape on the internet tells you it’s a guaranteed shortcut to a sixpack.(Best shortcut to lose weight fast, amputation)
A diet shouldn’t be some spur of the moment thing that you pick up and put down after a while, its something that you need to stick with for your life.
Exercise doesn’t have to be a massive chore either, sometimes all it takes is just a little change up in your system whether its going for a walk, playing something or genuinely working the fuck out, whatever floats your boat (Unless your boat don’t float anymore because of your fat ass, in which case, move straight to the third option and embrace the fuck)
At the end of the day, I guess dad was right, exercise a bit and just cut down on food. It works.
P.S I’m nowhere near satisfied with where I am, so much more progress to be made…..